So, it's over with me and Lori.. sorry, guys, I thought it was going to turn out differently, too.

But, several aspects of the relationship were not considered. Lori did something I can't stand for. That's all you need to know, right? I'm trying to be diplomatic here, even though the damages are irreparable. I do not hate her, But I do know that I will soon need some space for a time. I do not feel I really had a choice in the matter. Some things are just unforgiveable, at least for me.

I'll spare the world the touchy-feely part of it all. We've all felt it before. Chris, you damn silly dreamer, you really thought that it could happen.

But hey! I'll have more time to update my journal now! Meanwhile, evilstar.net has some content you may enjoy.

Reposted from evilstar.net...


Here's a little work in progress that I'm tooling about with.. the tube will end up drying to a clear red resin, with two LED lights inside.. The circuit is mostly for looks- just pretty shinies! But, that center chip contains about 35 lines of C++ to control the lights in the test tube.. What's growing in there? :) Oh, and the tube will be suspended between the two branches with jute and some shiny wire. And whatever else I make up.

... And Lori and I had a wonderful visit, a virtual slug-love-fest, just spending time together and enjoying every moment of it! I don't think it was nearly long enough at all. We took great walks, talked for hours, watched good movies, ate good food..all sorts of brilliance, really! We even had a little social-thing going on.. I made dinner for Lori and our mutual friend, Jolie. I served freshly sliced cucumber with my favorite plain-yogurt and seeecret herbs and spices mix, along with some fresh green beans, steamed just enough to keep some crunch to them, but to also reveal how sweet they really are, as plain as possible, with just a little pat of butter to ward off any sort of blandness! The main part was a salmon skewer, marinated overnight in infused olive oil and spices, cooked perfectly (I said two Hail Marys, Maybe that helped? Fish skewers can be hard, and I'd never done them before.), served over a bed of roasted garlic & herb couscous. Everyone really liked it, and yes! The two of them now know that yes! I can cook.

Other than that, I'm back home now, and I'm a little sad.. No Loris in bed next to me, cuddled up on my chest. I miss her already! But I suppose i will amuse myself with internet whatnots, as I haven't been online all week, and call it an early night. C'est la vie!

In 15 hours, I'll be standing outside the concourse exit of Midway airport, to receive Lori: The Juliet to my Romeo, the Scully to my Mulder, the Louise to my George Jefferson.

Oh, and she's just a knockout. She's as sweet and considerate, loyal and brilliant, as she is beautiful.



(and there's a little present, too:) (She's en-route already, not like she doesn't already know ;) )




It's going to be just an amazing fucking week!

Why did I used to hate the 6th Doctor (Peter Davidson) so much? Guy had style.. and who else can pull off a decorative vegetable? Great! But Colin fucking Baker? (6th doctor) is a total dooshbag.

Geez.. I wish I had more to write these days, But there's not a whole lot going on! I spend my days plugging away at the job search *got a few good leads!* and writing, but, not here. Mostly talking to Lori, which is still going quite well, which is great, because she's a wonderful woman. I've been doodling around with the outline for my memoirs, I even got an old friend to help me remember things, which is really good.

Might have a used laptop heading my way soon.. It's a windows one, which I could use, really. Then I could program microcontrollers proper, instead of using GCC and avrdude to hack it together... I'd rather use Atmel's own software, because they made the chips! But it's not like I've been spending a lot of time on that, either. Kind of at a creative standstill, after a period of fustration, I had a lot of great ideas, but couldn't really persue them, for want of really hard to find/expensive supplies. So, now, nothing comes out. At least in that way.

Did I tell you that Lori sent me a lovely package? She sent me a brand-new copy of Charles Dicken's Our Mutual Friend and two of my favorite Rachel's albums- seriously old school stuff, I remember listening to it when I worked at the Chevron- which maybe one of you remembers? But she hooked up The Sea And Bells and Music for Egon Scheile.. albums I thought I would never hold again! It was quite lovely of her.

Anyhow, I've been feeling awfully guilty when I'm not working on something.. oh, no idea what's gotten into me. I grind my teeth till I tear up my gums and am just way stressed right now, but, I'm doing everything I can, so, c'est la vie, I suppose.

Lucky for me, I possess some sense of dignity and civility, or I'd be probably fracturing a few laws right now.

By the way, I'm sure you're reading this- After tonight; If we ever meet, I'll know the reason why.

Current State: Schrodinger's cat



Is he alive or dead in that box? Who knows?!?

srsly. sick sick sick. cooped up in apartment watching network tv.

(I was writing this yesterday, but my plans for the day happened to change. c'est la vie.)

Ok! This fine Easter Sunday hasn't too much for me, besides doing what I think of as 'strictly fun' building- I'm doing some free form ambient lights based on the ATtiny13-10PU microcontroller.. I have five, and I hope to use four. Dreadfully low on the batteries I'd like to use, so I might have to run off for those, But I have another idea. They're going to be *very* freeformed circuits, using the battery as a base, and wire as the sort of sculpture medium.. I have an errand to run first, if the place is even open, come to think of it.. (oops, the place is closed. And I should have gone last week, but it was just slushy and gross out. feh.)

Oh! Little robot testing later today. I need to go find a rehersal room with good lights and a smooth floor... I got the mousebot bang-on! It behaves very intelligently and perfectly- I'm amazed with it. The circuit took eight hours for me to build, but it's solid, plus the ladybugbot, too, which isn't as 'smart', but still plenty of fun.

Anyhow!!

(Here we continue with today.)

The definition of causality is pissing me off. This is probably one for bastard, but I can't wrap my rotini-sized brain around why it doesn't work the other way. Of course cause then effect. but I can't reconcile on why it has to be in only that direction. Quite commonly, the effect of one event causes something else, another effect. Is this particular effect overlooked, or perhaps I'm not knowledgeable enough yet, which is likey the case. I just don't see cause always creating effect, and strictly working in that sense, ie; its not a one way street. Eh, I'm probably just thick about it. time to do something else.

Feeling a touch ill this morning, but I did sleep for nine hours, without any sort of medication, or even earplugs. Minor miracle for these days- I've been awake no later than 9am for quite a while. Oh well.. today's day one of quitting another med, so it's going to be a sick week or a normal week, who knows!

But I really do hope to get those little chip things put together. Otherwise, offical work starts at 3pm, I ought rest a little. Looking at used oscillioscopes on ebay, thought it too expensive, then found an awesome nearly free solution, needing just clips and some software. Probably the best thing, being as I won't use it a whole lot, but it's kinda like a spare set of shoelaces.. you rarely need them, but when you do! you are so happy to have them. My geek self really would want a big honkin' green screen box for it, but.. these day, sacrifices must be made.. and asides, I was promising to myself that this apartment wouldn't become a den of misorganized hardware everywhere. However, I'd love an old windows box for AVR work. Much easier than fucking around with GCC and avrdude.

I need a shed.